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Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Social Distancing FRIDAY!

“bad news first: the president is actively working to undermine our democracy, usurp the need of the americans, and hang onto energy in violation of our charter. first rate information: He’s in reality bad at it. The president is desperate to in some way throw out the votes for Biden, however like every thing else in his administration it’s a race between autocracy and incompetence—and with this crowd, incompetence is Usain Bolt.”
—Stephen Colbert

“I suppose we can all the time send the Navy SEALs in there to dig him out.”
—President Barack Obama on Jimmy Kimmel are living 

WASHINGTON, DC - NOVEMBER 19: Rudy Giuliani speaks to the press about various lawsuits related to the 2020 election, inside the Republican National Committee headquarters on November 19, 2020 in Washington, DC. President Donald Trump, who has not been seen publicly in several days, continues to push baseless claims about election fraud and dispute the results of the 2020 United States presidential election. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)
“It’s always a pretty good sign when your lawyer is sweating profusely.”
—James Corden

“we’ve filed proceedings in opposition t this administration in violation of the clear Air Act, clear power Act, clear Water Act, the Census, we sued him on the border wall, we sued him on Title X funding because he wanted to preclude reproductive rights for women, we’ve taken movements towards the Trump firm, the Trump groundwork, Trump college… I may go on and on however i do know you only have an hour display. even if or now not he pardons himself, we’re gonna be fine as a result of we’re competent. I and other legal professional generals, we…are…equipped.”
—N.Y. legal professional customary Letitia James to Samantha Bee on Full Frontal

“notwithstanding traveling for Thanksgiving is not recommended, some of you will decide to spend the break with people backyard of your pod. but you could nonetheless take measures to assist reduce your chance, [like] consume Thanksgiving dinner outside! A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving sets a good instance for that. comply with their lead, aside from the half where they let a dirty dog put together all the meals. Snoopy can be beloved, however he’s nonetheless a dog, my God.”
—Samantha Bee

“remember, you deserve to birth quarantining these days for Thanksgiving, and then hold quarantining, after which now not go.”
—Conan O’Brien

And now, our characteristic presentation…

Cheers and Jeers for Friday, November 20, 2020

notice: or not it’s Peanut Butter Fudge Day.  So in case your peanut butter begins waving round a file full of “records” and “facts,” remember: check examine verify.

by way of the Numbers:

luckovich-trumptransitionteam.gif
2 months!!!

Months from these days ’til Trump receives his sorry ass dragged out of the White apartment: 2

Rank of Vermont, Hawaii, and Maine among states with the bottom fees of Covid-19 infection: #1, #2, #three

Rank of North Dakota, South Dakota, and Wyoming amongst states with the highest prices: #1, #2, #3

component of voters polled by Morning talk to who approve of ways Joe Biden is handling his transition: 6-in-10

quantity Rudy Giuliani is apparently getting paid per day as Trump’s employed gun to get the 2020 election effects overturned: $20,000

number of months the Boeing 737 Max fleet, now green-lighted again, became grounded because the planes stored flying into the ground: 20

Estimated number of pumpkin pies served on Thanksgiving: 50 million

pup Pic of the Day: Weekend plans…

– 

CHEERS to protecting the integrity of the data. right here at Cheers and Jeers, we accept as true with that accuracy is of paramount significance in our thriving, best union we name the U.S. of the united states. but on occasion we hear a claim that needs to be vetted, and tonight is one of those instances so let’s get this unpleasantness out of the way, lets? in keeping with Atlanta Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms, President Trump is so desperate to get his means that, “he’ll consume his own children, I’m certain, if he found it prudent.” Over to you, PolitiFact:

PolitifactTRUEsmall.jpg

i assumed so. all the time first rate to determine.

P.S. Huh hhuh huh huhhuh…I stated Bottoms.

CHEERS to feathered surprises. When ny city‘s 2020 war-on-Christmas Tree become delivered to its iconic place at Rockefeller core from its long-established area in Saugerties, a hitchhiker was found out and rescued:

It wasn’t somewhat a partridge in a pear tree, but a employee assisting install the Rockefeller center Christmas tree discovered a holiday surprise—a tiny owl among the many big branches.

RockefellerCenterOwl.jpg
Mr. Owl re-confirmed that, yes, it nonetheless takes three licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

The little chicken, now named what else but Rockefeller, turned into found on Monday, dehydrated and hungry, however otherwise unhurt, observed Ellen Kalish, director and founding father of the Ravensbeard natural world center in Saugerties, big apple, the place the hen became taken.

“I trust he did go back and forth in the tree. I believe once they wrapped it up, he need to’ve gotten caught interior. The undeniable fact that he wasn’t squished or damaged become eye-catching,” Kalish stated.

The sight of the little critter warmed america’s coronary heart, and offered a second of hope and curative to our nation as we enter the holiday period. in fact, we hear Melania Trump was so moved that later in the day she changed into spotted wearing a jacket with huge words printed on the lower back: I really Don’t give A Hoot Do U? 

CHEERS to spinning in circles.  On this date in 1877, Thomas Edison introduced to the realm that he had invented the phonograph machine.  real story: he broke the news via a phonograph recording, which seemed like this:

“hey, is that this factor on? Testes…testes…one two three.

Edisonphonograph.jpg
Edison’s machine. today we record stuff with our phones, which might blow the minds of Edison and particularly Alexander Graham Bell.

We start bombing the Russians in 30 minutes. Ha ha! That all the time cracks ’em up on the Elks resort! however significantly, individuals. Mary had a bit lamb—her fogeys had been mortified.

I just can not aid myself… You individuals fly in from out of city? I bet your arms are drained! I slay me… Oh, by the way, the walrus can be Paul and Luke will be Vader’s youngster. Oops…’Spoiler alert!’

i’m bored. can i go home and invent the easy bulb now?”

only standard treatment for restless Inventor Syndrome, in accordance with docs: take two patent purposes and get in touch with me in the morning.

quick SANITY damage

conclusion short SANITY damage

JEERS to lassoing a Lone State lawbreaker. Down yonder at the border, the FBI, armed with large magnifying glasses and fingerprinting kits scorching off the meeting line, has all started looking into accusations that Republican Texas legal professional typical Ken Paxton has been committing crimey enterprise, including bribery and abuse of workplace. legislations enforcement mentioned the primary sign they encountered that cautioned he become as much as no decent was the one on his door that claims, “Republican Texas lawyer popular Ken Paxton.”

Mayflower Moving Van
best surviving picture of the Mayflower.

CHEERS to accomplishing dry land. On November 21, 1620, after being denied boarding passes at Heathrow as a result of they were on the no-fly list, a bunch of renegade “pilgrims” from England with a bad case of B.O. and no experience of humor landed in New England after 66 days at sea and right now acquired all quill-crazy, signing the Mayflower Compact “…to enact, constitute, and frame simply and equal laws, ordinances, acts, constitutions and offices, occasionally, as will be concept most meet and handy for the regular first rate of the Colony, unto which we promise all due submission and obedience.”  incidentally, the ship turned into destined for the northern fringe of the Virginia Colony, however they ended up shedding anchor in a totally distinctive vicinity: Provincetown, Massachusetts.  After spending a few years reviewing the entire obtainable proof, I’ve come to an inescapable conclusion: GPS sucked lower back then.

CHEERS to domestic vegetation. right here’s a quick pre-Thanksgiving weekend look at quite a lot of things that could exhibit up to your tube this weekend. In an indication of the instances, Shark Tank (8PM, ABC) listens to the pitch of “a maker of pandemic-inspired masks.” Tonight at 9 on 20/20, ABC news takes a deep dive on the Breonna Taylor homicide-with the aid of-cop. invoice Maher’s guests on precise Time (10, HBO) are Michael Eric Dyson, Jon Meacham, and Alex Wagner.

DollyPartonChristmasmovieNetflix2020.jpg
Debuts Sunday on Netflix. I trust it’s called “Dolly’s Vaccine is Comin’ to town.”

essentially the most everyday home video clips, new and historical, are all reviewed here at Rotten Tomatoes. The NFL schedule is right here. SNL, regrettably, is a rerun this week, so we received’t get to watch Kate McKinnon’s take on the Rudy Giuliani hair-dye catastrophe. Sunday on 60 Minutes: The submit-recuperation results of Covid-19, the secrets and techniques to living past 90 (topping the list: don’t get Covid-19) and the quarter-of-a-million students in our school programs which are “unaccounted for.”  Animation-smart, PBS airs A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Sunday at 7:30, Bart becomes a voiceover actor on The Simpsons, and Lois and Peter fluctuate on who should still be mayor of Quahog on family man.  eventually, more cowbell is going to be required on the American music Awards Sunday at eight on ABC.

Now here’s your Sunday morning lineup:

This Week: President-choose Biden’s chief of staff Ron Klain; chief of the U.S. vaccine effort Dr. Moncef Slaoui.

WendellWillkie.jpg
also Sunday: emboldened with the aid of Donald Trump, the ghost of Wendell Willkie returns to claim victory over FDR in the 1940 election. 

Face the Nation: Biden senior adviser Symone Sanders; Dr. Anthony Fauci; former countrywide protection Adviser H.R. McMaster; CVS CEO Larry Merlo.

CNN’s State of the UnionSenior Biden transition adviser Jen Psaki; Gov. Larry Hogan (R-MD); Dr. Moncef Slaoui.

Meet the click: Incoming White residence office of Public Engagement Director Cedric Richmond; Sen. Kevin Cramer (R-ND); Dr. Moncef Slaoui.

Fox GOP talking aspects Sunday: Tom Inglesby of the Johns Hopkins center for fitness protection; 

chuffed viewing!

Ten years in the past in C&J: November 20, 2010

JEERS to getting boomeranged.  right here’s yet one more reason why President Obama should still’ve appointed a jobs commission as a substitute of a deficit fee.  rationale #1, of route, is…americans don’t basically care about deficits!  however a bigger rationale is, he’s now linked to a bunch of basically unpopular and draconian concepts that do little greater than give Alan Simpson a woody:

elevating the retirement age for Social protection would disproportionately harm low-salary worker’s and minorities, and enhance incapacity claims via older people unable to work, govt auditors instructed Congress.  … The record, acquired by using The associated Press forward of its scheduled unlock Friday, provides fodder for these antagonistic to elevating the eligibility age for advantages, as proposed by using the leaders of President Barack Obama’s deficit fee.

naturally, this commission is now poisonous.  So, to blunt the PR damage, next week Obama will appoint a brand new Deficit fee Decommissioning Commissioner.  We take into account he performs a mean magic pipe and is adept at leading rats to water.

And simply another…

CHEERS to the scrapper from Scranton.  chuffed Birthday (and many benefits in your camels) to the us’s freshly-elected forty sixth President of the us, Joe Biden, whose means with phrases—intentional and in any other case—is a factor to behold:

there is best three things [Rudy Giuliani] mentions in a sentence: a noun, a verb and 9/eleven.”

“There is no extra consequential problem that we have to meet in the next decade than the onrushing local weather disaster. Left unchecked, it is literally an existential chance to the health of our planet and to our very survival.”

WILMINGTON, DELAWARE - NOVEMBER 10: U.S. President-elect Joe Biden addresses the media about the Trump Administration’s lawsuit to overturn the Affordable Care Act on November 10, 2020 at the Queen Theater in Wilmington, Delaware. Mr. Biden also answered questions about the process of the transition and how a Biden Administration would work with Republicans. (Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images)
satisfied Birthday, #forty six.

“You ever been to a caucus? No you have not. you’re a mendacity dog-confronted pony soldier.”

“if your kitchen table is like mine, you sit down there at nighttime before you place the kids to bed and you focus on what you want. You focus on how much you’re involved about being capable of pay the expenses. ladies and gentlemen, that isn’t a fret John McCain has to agonize about. it be a gorgeous hard experience—he’ll need to determine which of the seven kitchen tables to sit at.”

“do not tell me what you price—display me your finances and that i’ll inform you what you cost.”

My fellow american citizens, the people of this nation have spoken. they’ve delivered us a transparent victory. A convincing victory. A victory for ‘We the people.’ we have received with essentially the most votes ever cast for a presidential ticket in the history of this nation.”

And the neatest thing anybody ever referred to to Donald Trump’s face, and boy do I envy Joe for being the one to do it:

“Will you close up, man?

On November third he shut him up true first rate, with a bit assist from eighty million of his pals. Joe turns seventy eight today—and that’s the reason no malarkey.  nonetheless it is a BFD.

Have a superb weekend. floor’s open…What are you cheering and jeering about nowadays?